Tomorrow it will be one month since billy died. i am not sure why, but i really was doing better then in the last few days i have started slipping in to deep sadness. i just miss him so much.

i feel like there is a giant hole in my heart and i really can’t see anything healing it.

i used to have a network set up that helped me deal with things. but you get older, you make mistakes and you do things you regret.

Did i do something bad. I just don’t understand why he had to die. What did I do to the world to have this happen. I feel so guilty. Pooor billy. he was so wonderful.

i miss you billy. i love you billy

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