Well I am now officially insane.

I got this surgery so that I never felt that overwhelming feeling of hunger ever again, but now all I feel is gut-wrenching hunger. I am all right for the first few hours of the day, then when it gets to dinnertime and hates everyone who is allowed to eat.

The sane me – knows that it’s not their fault, knows that this will all be over in a few days… but the insane me… well she couldn’t care less.

No pain to report.

Haven’t weighed myself.

ARRRGGGGHHHH.come on… mushy stage…

Current Weight: 124 kgs
Goal Weight: 72 kgs
Only 52 kgs to go…

So here’s the thing! For the past few days I have been addicted to sleep. I think it might be the painkillers.

Mr. Gary Crosthwaite has suggested (well ordered) that I do not eat anything solid for the next two weeks. So it’s two weeks of water, juice, ice coffees, yoghurt, ice cream, custard and soup. I actually really love most liquid things… Liquid is how I gained most of my weight… I just love a few litres of Coke. Now that I have given that up, I need to get my arse moving and coke guzzling.

Today was more painful that the past few days. My tummy kinda hurts and I have some back pain from the gas used during surgery. I was told this might happen. So I have been taking the painkillers. Which I have also been told to do… Apparently pain should be managed before you really feel it.

So I have been sitting around a lot. Lying on the couch… Spending time with my animals… Which I thought would be difficult, because I thought my dog wouldn’t understand that he couldn’t jump on my stomach. But he totally understood and somehow he just knew.

I also have some more good news.

Current Weight: 129 kgs
Goal Weight: 72 kgs
Only 57 kgs to go…

Today was a mixture of pain, embarrassment and happiness.

My father picked me up to take me to the dietitan at about 10am. This was the first time that I have been in a car since coming home from the hospital.

Now let me tell you that after stomach surgery… Speed humps should be illegal. Every bump and nick goes right through your body. Now, while I haven’t been in massive amounts of pain, I still feel not quite put together. So by the end of the trip I felt like I had to pick up my intestine from the back seat.

The next part is not for the faint hearted
So I got out of the car and found the building that I needed to go into. Then I went to pass gas and yes… it wasn’t gas! I am not sure if it was because I had been constipated since the surgery (all the morphine does that), or because I hadn’t eaten solids for almost a week, or maybe it was just a general body not doing well-ness, but I had liquid pooh all over my favourite underpants.

I ran into the dietitans and searched for a toilet, washed my underpants and threw them out.

The whole meeting with the dietitans I was uncomfortable and nervous. “Was it going to happen again?”

After going through what was on offer next week “The mushy stage”, I was so hungry I could have eaten a mushed onion.

It’s amazing how hungry you can be when you have only had liquids for a week.

Before going through the diet rules for the rest of my life and the integrated stages before that, I got on the scales.

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Current Weight: 124 kgs
Goal Weight: 72 kgs
Only 52 kgs to go…

Food glorious food!
I might be only eating mushy food. But you just don’t know how wonderful scrambled eggs are until you haven’t had anything solid for two weeks.
OK so when I say that I have eaten… I am talking about two teaspoons of scrambled eggs and I was full. And it was amazing. And that’s ok. It’s ok to enjoy food. Just not to eat too much of it. Food is for energy not gluttony.

All life lessons that I should have learnt a long time ago. But thanks to a piece of plastic I now know.

I started to hate my LapBand™ last week. The liquid diet was really starting to get me down… but now that I can eat a little, all be it mushy, I love my LapBand™.

I am losing weight… and one day I will be at my goal weight. AND I CAN’T WAIT.

I have spent the last few days imagining all the clothes I am going to buy, all the places I will go.

Imagine me walking around New York… no need for cabs… just me.

I am going to the beach for almost a month and then when I get back I am having my first band filling.

Apparently by then I will start getting hungry and will need liquid in my LapBand™. The liquid tightens the band which means that food stays in my small stomach. Which means that I will feel fuller for longer.
Current Weight: 122 kgs
Goal Weight: 72 kgs
Only 50 kgs to go…

LIQUIDS SUCK

But some good news

Current Weight: 123 kgs
Goal Weight: 72 kgs
Only 51 kgs to go…

I leave for the beach tomorrow, but I thought I would catch you up on what Christmas was like with a LapBand™.

I had my families Christmas lunch up first. Everything went fine. My family eat seafood for Christmas lunch, and because I am not that into seafood, I don’t ever really eat much on Christmas day. Which for fatty is strange. The way I figure it, if you eat like its Christmas day everyday… what’s the point in Christmas day?

So I was happy with my mushies until my nanna brought out her curried eggs. Which I have loved since I was a little (excuse the pun) girl.

All the LapBand™ literature states that I must eat slowly… but I wasn’t sure why. I eat my egg… and I shouldn’t have I felt this strange pain, no not really pain. Uncomfortableness maybe.

Christmas dinner at my boyfriend’s families home was fine too. I was satisfied with my mushies.

Speak to you all in a month or so …